Authentic

Ahhh, does anyone read this blog anymore i have not written in like an entire week! GEZ. Well I had a WONDERFUL weekend.. I got to spend it with 10 grade girls at Authentic Weekend. It's funny when you go to pour into others, and you end up getting poured into and worked on by God.

Dr. Merritt told this intense story this morning of a man who died on Mt. Everest, because no one stopped to help. 40 people literally just passed a frozen hiker left him to die.. I know what you thinking WHY? How could those 40 people just walk by and let him stay there.DESIRE.though not the desire of God. These people had trained and put all this money in effort into THEIR goal. Helping this man was not in there plan it could slow them down and keep them from their dream.

In Daniel 4:35 it says " All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him " what have you done?"

Like dang, talk about not holding back. It's like we sit here and say why God? Why do you let these people starve in poor countries, What have you done? I feel like Gods looking back at us and saying WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? how have you helped these people or been a light for Christ or given up some of your material desires to meet the needs of others. Just like that story about the man on Mount Everest we sit here and ask WHY? because we are more caught up in our desires then we are God's desires."God doesn't need you in order to save people, but he invites all of us in on the Journey"


"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today, is Christians. Who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world, simply finds unbelievable."

I leave you with that quote, it’s hurtful yet it's the truth how many times a day do we pass by God, to pursue our own desires above his. How many times do we ask God why? Yet our lifestyles have God asking us WHY?

Be still.

So today I realized I am a control freak.weird?me? I am so bad about giving control to God, and thinking I can do it better. I run around all day and I pour myself into so much stuff and I can just feel God in the back of my head saying..

"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)


How hard is that for us, I mean Americans work longer hours than any other country. It's a known fact that every year the hours working gets longer and longer in America.. All for what though? All this stuff that we pour into and things that become so important that brand new car, the high class job, or even that sorority. We can't take it to heaven? All this stuff that matters so much-that we feel the need to work every hour of the day to get ahead, will it matter in the end?


I need to do alot better job at being still and being in the presence of God, and getting my priorities straight. I need to stop putting God to the back and getting done everything else first. Lord, I surrender all this stuff that I put in front of you. Help me realize you are my first love and everything else can wait.


Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also-Matthew 6:21

Anger.

The craziest thing happen when we were driving home from stone mountain today. So this man is like honking at this guy because he wanted to pull out and i guess the guy won’t pull up enough, so he obnoxiously keeps honking. So my mom and I are just staring at him like is this guy serious...? Were all at a stop light right, once the man pulls out, he continues to get out of his car walk up to the persons car and punches the window and starts cursing. By this point our mouths are wide open thinking this can't be seriously happening. Then the man gets in his car and just drives off.

Like for real? How can someone get so angry.. I thought back to how many times i would be in the car and someone would cut me off or ride my tail and i would be freaking out in the car..like that person could even hear me. We get so mad at the stuff that won't even matter tomorrow..Or how bout waiting at resturant for your food and the waiters not fast. We immediately become impatient and angry..

This one time my parents suprised me with John Mayer tickets for my birthday and I was totally disapointed. I had not asked for John Mayer tickets what were they thinking? Like looking back I am like who are you,seriously, they didn't have to get me anything. It was a gift. Like instead of being like I don't deserve this for all you do for me, I thought i deserved more or something that I wanted. Pretty selfish huh?

I been thinking today about alot of the stuff i get angry at? Why don't instead of people getting angry that they have to wait 10 minutes more for food not get angry the 10 million kids won't have food that night...How many times do we talk about ourself all day and wine about the things we don't have or get.. we are so selfish sometimes and it just kills me that we focus more on useless stuff to get angry at-when the important stuff is just left unsaid or thought about...


Ephesians 4:31,32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Proverbs 16:32
Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

How can God give this country so much, yet we still think we have so little. I think back to this little girl when i went to Ecuador. I wonder where her foods going to come from tomorrow and if she gets sick will she get the care she need? This is the stuff i should pour into and be upset about...



God you show so much mercy on us everyday even when we are selfish and don't deserve it lord, you still want us. Help me to humble myself lord, and see people like you see people. Help me to love unconditionally and be slow to anger..

Your love never fails.

"If Dependence is God's objective, then weakness is an advantage."-Alistair Begg

"Nothing can separate, Even if I ran away, Your love never fails. I know I still make mistakes,But You have new mercies for me everyday.Your love never fails

Chorus:You stay the same through the ages-Your love never changes.There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning, And when the oceans rage.I don't have to be afraid,Because I know that You love meYour love never fails

Verse 2:The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side,But Your love never fails..

Bridge:You make all things work together for my good"-Jesus Culture




I don't even know how to follow those lyrics. Lord, your love never fails. That last line of the song really hit me hard tonight, " You make all things work together for my good." There are so many times in the day where I just question God, and I am like are you sure that’s right for me, or are you sure you want me to do that.

I am in this really awkward stage where you hit 20 and you’re like oh my goodness..What in the world am I going to do with my life..I am going to school for this but I really want to do that..But I make no money doing this...my parents want me to do that...How am I suppose to know at the age of 20 what I want to do for the rest of my life?GEZ.
What does God have to say about all this?

jeremiah 29:10-1 "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

I have read that verse over and over again, and yet like the song it's something you say or read but you don't always believe. If we had full trust in God, that he is in control and he is holding the reins in our life, then why are we always so anxious and worried about tomorrow. I like to think back to

Matthew 6:25 For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?
Matthew 6:34So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Man, like I have to stop worrying and getting so stressed out about tomorrow. God, says he's going take care of it, let him be in control. When I am constantly worrying and fearing- I am not trusting my heavenly father. That hard to hear, but it's the truth. Did God not supply for those in need in the bible? Did God not once come through for them? Did God ever leave their side? No. God's Supply is UNLIMITED. yes, unlimited.

God may not always answer my prayer the way I’d expect but I have to think when has my God failed me? God has a much bigger plan than I have for myself. So instead of trying to make all these decision what to do with my life, maybe I should be seeking him in prayer to find out where he wants me and where I am suppose to be.

Lord, cast out all my worries and anxieties because your love never fails, Lord make me a servant, and more like you. Help me to understand that when things don't work out the way I wanted them to, I’m not being punished just redirected, because God you want me to know that you are so much bigger than that. You have a way much greater plan for me then I could ever imagine. Lord break my heart for what breaks yours, and make me what you will.

Baggage.

So i been thinking alot about my life, and if i am living everyday to the fullest. I feel like one of the main reason's I felt it was time to make changes in my life because I was not satisfied in my friends, the parties, the boys, everything was just another day of the same thing. Life is so short, I am seeing friends pass away year after year, and I think everyday that could be me. We are never promised tomorrow. Death is a scary thing to think about. When I think about it, I ponder what people would say at my funeral or how would people remember me?

Would there be words unspoken and friendships that needed to be mended. I feel like I have been through a lot of hurtful stuff over the past few years. Still I find myself holding on seeking some kind of revenge from when someone did me wrong. I use to do that in middle school and high school, if a girl was flirting with my boyfriend well then I was going to flirt with hers! Oh, man glad I am done with junior high. Though what about the big things, the things that ache in our heart day after day. Things we don't want to let go cause for some reason we find the bitterness to be easier than the healing.

"Revenge is really saying to God I don't trust you to deal with this situation, this person wronged me and I can't turn it over to you, basically saying if I get revenge then I have control of the situation and determine what happens. Basically saying I think I can do my job better then you can"-Rob Bell

I think back to my relationship with my dad and how much anger I held on to growing up because he was not my ideal father. Eventually I got so tired of him, I literally gave up and just started to ignore he was even my father. If he wasn't going to say I love you to me, then I sure wasn't going to be the first one to tell him. That bitterness went on to relationships I had..I could never trust boys, and I was always looking for that boy to fill that place of my dad. I was holding these guys to an expectation they could not meet.

Finally after all these years I have truly forgiven my dad for not being there. Through that forgiveness, God has brought mending and healing to that relationship and my dad and I for the first time sat down and prayed together a couple weeks ago! WOW! We went from not talking to praying and it only took 20 years! haha

You know I think in the bible about that bible verse Matthew 18:22 "No, not just seven times, but forgive him seventy times seven times" I'm thinking you are out of your mind God. You want me after all this person has done to me to forgive them? There is no way I can do that; you don't know what they have done to me. Though...what if God said “I could never forgive them for what they have done?”

How many times have I wronged God? How many times have I literally said naaa I don’t need you today, or I don’t really want you today…I’m gunna do this on my own.take control of this situation. Not once has he not forgiven me or wanted revenge on me. Yayayaya, but what about those people who continue to be destructive in our lifes. How can we sit there and take them back time after time. I think of

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

This verse defiantly speaks to me.. How many times are we in a bad relationship, friendship or something that is hurting us, and we keep returning to it OVER AND OVER AND OVER.. Because it is comfortable. Well you’re reading about a girl who did this for 6 years. Where do you draw the line between forgiveness and setting boundaries. I have learned you can forgive someone but God doesn't say you can't remember what happen to you and what you went through..

Though by holding all this bitterness it’s like you are chained down. Sometimes I feel like you have to let it go, set them free, to really forgive someone you have to wish them well and that good comes their way. With my dad I could keep being bitter or I could receive healing and begin to move on and break those chains that had been there for so long.

Everyone has wronged someone; everyone is going to let you down- even your mom and dad. You can't hold on to bitterness, and regrets forever- seeking for revenge and satisfaction knowing you got even. You’re never going to find that satisfaction. So set yourself free from those things your holding on to.. Let God take that baggage..


Because his way to live,I promise is the best possible way to live.

LUMP

Weird heading i know, my bible study watched a nooma video tonight called LUMP . HIGHLY recommend it by the way.

The video is basically a story of a little boy who lies to his parent about something he had taken, and also about hitting his brother. When he is confronted he just repeats "I don't know where that came from? It’s just the strangest thing" His parents know the little boys guilty and eventually calls him out on, the boys is frozen, he's busted. The little boy being shameful runs to his parents room and lays under the covers and cries and cries and hides ashamed. His dad finds him after looking for him after awhile in his bedroom in a LUMP under the covers.

The father pulls the blankets back and know the little boy has two choices 1.does he pull the covers back over his head or 2. Does he lie there totally exposed and vulnerable? His dad sits on the bed and pulls him close and repeats "There's nothing you could ever do to make me love you less" WOW!

I feel like his dad should have been so mad and annoyed he was just lying and running away from it by hiding and yet his dad just repeated those words, “There’s nothing you could ever do to make me love you less" How hard is it for us to believe that God loves us no matter what we have done or will do. There are so many thing I am ashamed of, and I don't understand how can can still love me.

Romans 8:38 NOTHING CAN SEPERATE US FROM GODS LOVE.

I relate to that little boy, a lot times in the past instead of being vulnerable and giving situations to God, I was like "NO.i can handle this baggage" I ran away from God when i should have pulled closer to him. Time and time again God was saying, " it's okay Christie, it's all paid for, leave your baggage at the cross, I love you, and nothing you can do can make me love you less." How completely powerful is that statement

"nothing you can do can make me love you less."

It's funny we can mess up one time with a friend or a boyfriend and they can completely write you off. Or the opposite we write people off daily for letting us down or hurting us. Friends forsake us, boyfriends hurt us, parent let us down.Yet we hurt God, and turn our backs on him every day and he still there.Everytime bringing us back to him. holding us close..saying i love you. your wanted. Goodness. his love is extravagant.

I use to not even get emotional talking about God's love, just thinking it was there but not a big deal. Now i find myself tearing up every time i think about the cross and the nails going into Jesus hands. What a beautiful God. Even if there was no one else on the earth but me, God still would have sent his son to die for me. Talk about true love.



Please. Watch this video & know you are worthy, and desired by your lord and savior. NOTHING YOU CAN DO CAN MAKE HIM LOVE YOU LESS, you are never to far to come home to dad.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRqcDhips9I

Women Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

What better day to talk about the unconditional love of God then on Valentines day..As women I think we defintly forget how fearfully and wonderfully made we are. We get this sense of doubt in us when God does not bring us the things we want or at the time we want it. Though, I am begining to realize all things work together for his good. The best timeing is on God's timing. Why as women do we feel so worthless when we do not have a man to satisfy us. Whatever happen to being romanced by the king.

Song of Solomon 2:16 My lover is mine, and I am his.

I find myself letting the devil get to me, settling for less then i deserve or sometimes not trusting what God has promised me. “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”Though being in a long relationship i learned that I can't be complete in a man, I am complete in Christ alone. I don't have to go out persuing or looking for love because it has been here all along.

Someday my man will come, but my prince has already come:)

My Dear Child,

Everyone longs to give themselves entirely to someone, to be loved fully and exclusively in a complete relationship, but I say No, not until you are satisfied being loved by me alone. I love you, my child, but until you know satisfaction can be found only in me, you will not be capable of the perfect, human relationship I have planned for you. You can never be united with another until you are united with me, so stop planning. Stop wishing- allow me to bring that person to you. Just keep watching me, listening to and learning the things I will teach you.Do not worry or get anxious. Ignore those things you think you want; just keep watching me, or you will miss the things I have to show you.

When you are ready, I will bless you with a love greater than any you could have ever dreamed, for until the one I am preparing for you as well as you are both satisfied by my love alone, neither of you will be able to experience the wonderful love I have planned for you.Dear one, I want you to have this love. I want you to see, embodied in the flesh, a representation of your relationship with me. I want you to enjoy fully this union of beauty, perfection and love which I am offering you.Know that I love you completely.

Believe it; be satisfied.Your loving Father in Heaven

Revelation 19:11-16
A White Horse and Its Rider-Then I saw Heaven open wide—and oh! a white horse and its Rider. The Rider, named Faithful and True, judges and makes war in pure righteousness. His eyes are a blaze of fire, on his head many crowns. He has a Name inscribed that's known only to himself. He is dressed in a robe soaked with blood, and he is addressed as "Word of God." The armies of Heaven, mounted on white horses and dressed in dazzling white linen, follow him. A sharp sword comes out of his mouth so he can subdue the nations, then rule them with a rod of iron. He treads the winepress of the raging wrath of God, the Sovereign-Strong. On his robe and thigh is written, King of kings, Lord of lords.

If your doubting what God has promised you..don't.Be patient, and in the mean time be romanced by your heavenly father. How bout that verse for a prince charming on a white horse:)

Let Go And Let God

So i keep seeing that blogs are getting more and more popular and well considering i am 4 hours from my family and friends its hard for them to keep up with what’s going on in my life. My life has changed so much in the past month...now that I have begun to give my whole heart to the lord, he's been revealing to me all these new desires I never knew were there. I love looking back at children bible stories ..this verse really stuck out to me in Mark



17"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."


Jesus had called them to be with Him, promising to make them fishers of men. Immediately they gave up their fishing business to follow Him. I wonder if I would have had that much obedience back in the day to trust him. I think about fishing was how they supported themselves...they had to have thought that by giving up their fishing business they would be bringing home no fish that day.I mean they literally left everything to follow Jesus. How hard is that to leave something so comfortable, for an entirely whole new career.


They had followed jesus partially before, but now they made the choice to abandon their career and follow him in pure obedience. When they let God in to this part of their life, he began to bless them more then ever. It was when Peter truely believed that God was going to supply his needs all his "what if" fears vanished.


What I got out of this story is to follow Jesus they had to leave things that were comfortable /secure to them, their ships & nets. Peter needed to know though he was a great fisherman and knew everything; God knew more and had much more to teach him. This makes me want to be more careful what I try to bring with me when I seek to follow Jesus. I was really reminded of what it takes to follow Jesus, its being vulnerable and open and making yourself less so he can be greater.